i need a diary, to talk to.

it suddenly hit me that i took you for granted. and now that you are gone, my life feels very empty.

it’s like you silently left a print there which can’t be erased. traces of you can’t be forgotten.

no, you can’t be replaced. i can have the whole world but still be happier with just you. no one treated me like how you did. no one was there like you were for me. no one tolerated me like you did. i only wish to know how you really feel.

but at present, i only have myself to blame for ruining it. i just want to say sorry. and i have no grounds to ask for your forgiveness. what’s broken can’t be put back together like what was before. and yet i am the one trapped in this chasm of endless regret and yearning.

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what’s up with all the screwed up teachers?

maybe it’s just my luck that i’ve actually crossed path with yet another anal teacher in school.

finally an overnight camp and it got destroyed by paul cheong’s irresponsibility as a “teacher ic”

for crying out loud. why is it that a full grown man is taking it all out on students? ok, yes, we are guilty of not bringing the consent forms. we apologised and we offered to get our parents to call him. i can’t seem to understand why he cannot accept this and had to jump to closing the camp down as the only working verdict to correct our mistake.

as a teacher, i think he has demostarted enough apathy and irresponsibility towards the club’s well-being. not to mention his gay royal temper of a spoilt princess.

we are having an overnight camp and according to the school, the teacher ic will stay overnight as well. he didn’t want to. (…) why the heck did he approve in the first place then?

he was so insistent on consent form. what’s consent form for? parental consent no? we didn’t bring the paper ones, so why can’t he accept verbal ones? i really wonder why did he close camp. was it out of his anger because a bunch of teenagers just didn’t comply to his order or was it really that he did not receive our parents consent such that the camp cannot go on?

oh yes, he wanted the forms. camp started at 4pm and he said he would come at 5pm. he ended up coming at 8.30pm. RUBBISH. we camped for 4.5 hours without forms. if he was so responsible that he insist he see our forms. why didn’t he collect before 4pm? he actually let the camp go on for 4.5 hours and closed it at his own convenience.

and so we got chased out. fag just took the key to the classrooms and left without making sure we really went home. as long as we are in school, he’s liable for our well-being because we were supposed to be camping. i think he should at least inform our parents or seek permission from the school to close down the camp with his dumbshit reason at 8.30pm. he can’t just break camp and leave a bunch of unwilling students standing around behind. he needs to make sure we go home like he ordered us to.

don’t get me wrong. he can close camp because we didn’t bring our consent forms. we can only grumble and blame ourselves and his strict ways. but what he did as he closed camp was irresponsible and thus my complain. i should expect him to inform our parents why we were sent home. at least the 7 who had forms.

at the end of the day, i stil fail to understand his rationale for having to close down the camp over a consent form issue. his actions are too extreme for his own good. like either he call to inform our parents and tell them why he closed the camp or he call to get their consent. he just wanted to escape responsibility of any form towards his students from what i see. i wanted to get my mum to call up the fag for an explanation but i was told he doesn’t pick up calls. this is really hilarious. perhaps my mum should just call his authorities instead and let him do some explaining for killing jap club with his attitude problem. why is it that apathetic teachers like him gets to become teacher ic? i think we would be better without him. touchwood, but if anything happened to anyone last night when he was not there, he ought to burn in hell. i really hope rjc would pick better teachers for CCA’s. -.-‘

on/off

things are going and off nowadays. and it’s really annoying. and i’m starting to be sick of my mp3 judging at the rate how i forward songs. 80’s hard rock is so appealing but i have not much time to dig through the humongous collection. i see a changing phase coming. i am ditching j-rock. oh noez.

but back to the point, like if you are really into something, why can’t you just prioritise it and commit to doing it? small little things happen and people get discouraged or try to wriggle out of it. i can’t understand why most people do things just for the sake of fame or popularity. if it isn’t coming from the heart, it can’t touch. not me at least. why betray yourself just to fit in a crowd? why followsuit when you can be yourself? yea, that explains why we have a hell lotta fashion disasters walking around. blind followers… ok whatever, i stick to my own business and will not say it out loud to those people.

i hate you, you are stupid. really.

you know what, i’m irritated. i’m honestly very irritated at poor judges at auditions. why can’t they send some one who can at least appreciate different genres of music to come and decide? why is it that every fucking audition i go, i meet biased ‘judges’?! ok nevermind, that’s common, but these people bring it to a whole new level.

take 5 band category ‘judges’, especially that girl sitting at the corner, people like you are brainless for the following reasons.

1. we are sorry we came late, but seriously, your logistics sucked. signup sheets said ‘if you wanna change your slot, you are annoying.’ ok so this is back to you, YOU are annoying. you changed slots and failed to inform us in advance. oh sheesh, remind me why did i even apologise.

2. ‘you can’t take so long to setup in the canteen you know.’ – hey doofus, you were the ones who placed all the equipments in the wrong place you know. cymbals on wrong sides, no jacks, amps in wrong places, we need to plug our pedals, find the 1 snyth out of 100 in your keyboard, find a way to have a mic stand for backup vocals since you people can’t get one… seriously, stop blaming us for your lack of expertise. there’s such a thing called rehearsal and an AV department. if you people run this, i sit back for your epic fail.

3. ‘you can’t have such a noisy performance in the canteen.’ – gosh. i might have murdered you in the name of rock. noisy? with 25W tiny amps? with jacks so short that we can’t even shift the amps closer to you? with master volume @ 12 o’clock?! with a bass drum that slips away?! (smart people dunno how to setup like i said) gosh. how noisy can all the small things and poker face be? woman, if you can’t take distortion, get out. stop thinking everyone is like you who can’t take electro. we come in with electric guitar, drums and bass. what does your dimwitted mind tell you? expect mozart? oh, and the signup sheet mentioned ‘if you are quiet we will kick you out.’

4. we worked so hard. D: and all you said was you are noisy. how appreciative as an audience. i love you. NOT. go fuck yourself. don’t you know what you are supposed to say as a judge? it’s not personal preference hello.

so all in all, why should we feel discouraged? i should have offered you my fullest attitude along with my shoe thrown into your face. you suck. you shouldn’t be here. we are playing with passion, if you didn’t think we rocked, at least shut up and stop judging us on stupid irrelevant things. comments on music please, from someone who can put aside everything and embrace it with an open arm.

the only constant is change

it kinda sucks to have spent the whole holiday with no singing. so i digged around for new bands to listen to. i suddenly took a serious liking to 80’s rock after playing rock riot. and the old love for gazette and A9 seemed to have died. vkei doesn’t have something that the 80’s rock do. and ever since PBO audition, i’ve never felt motivated enough to cover another J-Rock song.

after thinking for some time, i figured i was perhaps, too clingy and willful. but still, it’s stuck in my mind although it wasn’t entirely my problem…

planning to do some ballad versions of rock songs soon. can’t wait to try the new style with different people.

on another note, i’m glad i’ve sorted things out with my parents and made myself heard. and i remembered to study hard this holiday, so yea… not a bad holiday. just plain boring with no jamming or at least talking with like-minded people. but with the extent of things now… i’m feeling very apathetic. i want to do something. but it feels too late. i don’t know. really. like-minded people are so hard to come by nowadays… sigh.

i feel like a slug. must have spent too much time lazing around and napping. i’m just sitting around and waiting to be told of something i already know. and i don’t know why i still have not given up yet. false hopes false hopes… *bricks self*

the great revolution

o’ this the season to be jolly. x’mas, new year and CNY/Valentines; and i haz nutin nice tur wearz out.. DDDDD8

so of course, i went shopping with my Dec allowance. it’s about time i ditch all my puffy jeans/t-shirts for gooooood. so… i think i spent my entire hols fashion hunting at Bugis and Orchard.

i made a couple of unwise choices on clothes and heels. (i hate bugis street for its lack of fitting rooms) so now i have a hole in my pocket and a badly bruised purple-black toe. DDDD8 oh what to do…

but mum came to the rescue! so i now haz proper-comfy-pretty shoeshoez ❤ and i didn’t know flats can be this expensive… mum said it was her gift. ❤ it looks sturdy enough to last for quite a bit. now i just need some black shorts and leggings and stock up on the accessories…

at the end of my great shopping expedition, i’ve learned that:

1. never buy cheap shoes. nevermind how pretty they look. they cheat your feelings.

2. if you buy, fit first. if not you waste $$$ on what you think might look nice, but not on you.

3. always bring mum for bonding purposes. 😀

all hail a new wardrobe~ goodbye puffy black tees and oversized jeans~ i love 2010.

 

let’s try WP…

ah. first post. ^~^v decided to give WP a try instead of LJ and blogger. iono. the interface looks more friendly… less lag… and the skin is so festive~ 🙂 oh, and i like how the greeting goes howdy.